Feel the tranqulity



It's 12.51am now and I haven't had my bath. Just came back from Kovan for the tuition CIP about an hour ago but the unoccupied computer seat was far too tempting to resist. AND SO, here i am :) By the way, the various encounters I had met with at the tuition centre made me realise something- children nowadays are unpredictable. I mean, the things that they possess, the stuff that they say and the things that they do.. man. How times have changed, from the innocent doll hugging girls and truck playing boys to the (current) handphone and friendster account possesing kids. Not forgetting the BGRs that they talk about and are involved in. Well, I'm not exactly THAT old, but in my times, I only remember playing with my cooking set, five stones etc. How I miss my pure and naive self :/



Die, is this called generation gap?



Anyway, just something random. I tried to log in to blogger a few times but failed. It was only then that I realised I had alr changed my pw. Haha, my stupid brother la. There was once when I entered this site which required me to key in my email and pw. And just when I was abt to press 'enter', he screamed at me to restart the computer cos he said that it might be a virus. Also urged me to change my pw just in case. Lol, scare me can, I thought my account got hacked just now.



Lately, I've been doing lots of self-reflection. Give me some time alone and it comes naturally. Thoughts come streaming in without conscious and the next moment, I find myself thinking. Thinking about lots of stuff. And somehow, I relate them to this gigantic concept map, where I can only figure out part of it. Sometimes, these thoughts reflect hurt, anger and fear. They reflect my inner self, which I don't usually show. Who would want to see a girl with a screwed-up temper? And sad to admit but true, these thoughts tend to make you especially vulnerable. You start getting cranked up and sensitive over the slightest thing. Even a mere reminiscence of the past can get you all emotional and wrecked. That's when you start feeling the stirring and mixing of feelings within and before you know it, you feel a lump in your throat and the welling of warm tears in your eyes. It's kind of sad though, having to bear all these by yourself. But that's the reality of life, isn't it? Accept this. You don't have a shoulder to lean on 24/7. There are moments when you have to learn to take on things by yourself. And they include things like pressure from all aspects and the helplessness derived. You feel as though your life is going downhill, with no brakes. All that goes through your mind is the bottomless pit that you're never ever going to reach.



I really have no idea what I am going to do with my life. I'm just living day by day, taking what's what and not taking what's not. Others seem like they already have a plan as to what they are going to do with their lives. They live for a purpose. But not me. I feel like just giving up on everything and throwing them away. No commitment. No strings tied. How nice would that be.



I'm really tired of everything. I'm not as strong as the rest who can take much more than me. I admit, I'm a weakling. I'm sick and tired of all the stress I'm facing. I'm sick and tired of pushing myself. I'm sick and tired of the demoralisation from almost everything.



I'm sick and tired of myself.



Sigh, I'm really sorry for the rants. I don't know why I'm being such an emo-elmo today. And don't worry, I'm not having any suicidal thoughts.



Feel the tranquility? I don't think so.



CNY. GONG XI FA CAI TO ALL! :)



With family,










With friends,








































Valentine's Day, a day filled with LOVE :)



But I didn't receive anything from my Angel. To think I still made the effort to buy something for him/her. SIGH.



Dinner at Swensens (i've been waiting for it- I'SCREAM!). But the combination of people was kinda weird. We went after his trng so Shern Whey and Jon came along too, with their gfs. Haha.





MANYMANYSWEETS&CHOCS&WHATNOTS :)



The ULTRASUPERDUPER lovely sunflower from ELIZABETH (LOVES)



Say hello to Twinkle!



9 :)



I'm waiting..



Thank you for everything :)



Watched P.S I Love You at Bugis ytd. Hmm, it was sweet but not the lovey-dovey type of sweet. There wasn't much of a climax to it. And I didn't catch the ending. To those who have watched, did Holly get together with that Irish William guy? Dinner at Simpang after that. Lol, my appetite was so good that I finished a Roti John by myself!



And tell me if you've got any of Cecelia Ahern's books, ok? :)



I want to apologize about Friday. I really didn't know what came over me that night. I was being too petty. Too childish. Too stupid. Getting angry over this type of stuff was too much of me. I'm really sorry for causing you any unhappiness. Sigh, it really hurts me to see you like this. And I don't wish for anything of this sort to happen again. But at least I'm glad we're fine now :)



Happy CNY! Finally, breaktime!



Alright. I haven't written any decent blog entry since school reopened (which was like a month ago). So I shall take this chance to do the updates :)



New Year's Eve + New Year. Countdown at Marina with part of the girls and I made WeiChong come along too :) Fireworks were pretty, but not that impressive. Made our way down to ECP, where we pitched our tents. Scold me a suagu if you want, but it was my very first time doing so! Huiing made us play this indian poker game and the forfeits were so funny! OMG. Poor WeiChong kena so many forfeits =X Didn't really sleep cos i prefer my own bed to the cold, hard ground. Breakfast at Macs before going home in the morning. Anyway, we saw Mrs Tng with her family there! Josh-josh! *squeals*



Orientation. Was in charge of Callisto 5. Hmm, not bad. there were some freshies in my grp from NAS. Woo! Go, Ngee Ann! Lol. They were quite quiet initially but became more bonded after TMP. As for MMM, my station got so screwed up. The people ic of China Sq attempted to chase us away cos we were using their private space for our use. But we still stayed put despite the constant warnings from them. Urgh, so irritating! Wet n Wild was well, wet. Lol. Didn't help out in the campfire prep cos of PT. Damn sad la, trng during orientation. Anyway, campfire (in the hall) was wild. Cheered and danced like crazy. Callisto got last, but, we stil had a blast, didn't we? :)



Back to school the next Monday was terrible. I wasn't in the study mood at all. Snap out of the orientation mood, man! Tutorials and assignments not finished though i rushed like crazy through the weekend. PE, double period chem make-up tut and PT simultaneously. It was OMG-ly jialat la! But i still managed to study in school till 8+ after that cos i was waiting for *ahem* SOMEONE's *ahem* trng to end. Haha. Kidding la, not blaming you :)



I signed up for this tuition CIP at Kovan, every Friday night. But I have trng before that so i have to rush like crazy. For the first session, I left trng early cos I didn't want to be late. Ran like some idiot (you know how hard it was having to run with a shoulder bag, shoe bag and stick) after the bus cos some idiot was on it. Thank goodness i ran fast enough to board it. Haha. But i forgave that idiot cos he bought me Subway *loves* for dinner :D For the second session, ChingYing, josh and jeff joined. Rushed down after trng as usual, but in vain cos some idiot was late and his fellow idiot friends were late as well =X Aqidah (the girl whom I taght the previous time) wasn't there so I taught another girl with ChingYing. Late dinner at Kovan Hawker Centre and wobbly joined us too. But due to his over-wobbly-ness, he decided not to eat anything. Haha.



I went Marine Parade library to study on one fine Sunday morning. Anyway, I'm beginning to prefer to study at MP lib than at tamp. It's kinda more conducive- brighter and more spacious :)



On another fine Saturday afternoon, I went shopping with him. Sigh, but it was so not productive. We walked so many places but couldn't find any nice backpacks. Also, I couldn't find the REALLYREALLYREALLY nice pencilcase which i wanted so much! SAD :( I only bought this white sleeveless top and this really cute pouch (which I'm using as my wallet now).



Shopping with my mummy the next day was better. This proves that guys don't make good shopping partners =X Ha, kidding! Guess I'm fated to get my clothes in tamp after all. Went to study with him at tamp lib after that. Nope, not at MP cos he had to leave early for pasir ris to meet his GAY team, so it was more convenient for him. I was late though, cos of the shopping. But that silly boy came back when he could have just gone home. Plus, he bought my fav kueh from Bengawan Solo! :)



There was this Monday morning, 21/1, if i'm not wrong, when the entire train system from Tanah Merah to Pasir Ris got corked up. Super chaotic and ALOT of people were late for school. But I thought it was quite cool. Haha. Never experienced anything like this before. All thanks to Singapore's ever-so *ahem* EFFICIENT public transport system! Alright, I'm not gonna dwell any deeper into Urban Geog!



Fb excursion to NEWater plant on a Friday afternoon. It was my first time there and just as expected, it was damn boring. Simpang Bedok for dinner with the team after that :) But strangely, my appetite shrunk for that meal. One prata + a bit of cheese fries already made me a super full moo.



Road race at Pasir Ris park the next day. But yay, I didn't have to run cos I had road marshall duty. Super slack job :) Heh, saw him running and he managed to come in 4th for the guys' race despite of his injured leg. I'm so proud of you, WeiChong :) Anyway, canoeing super ownage la. Their 3 guy teams clinched the 1st, 2nd and 3rd positions. Ate lunch with our class (super rare opportunity) before leaving to meet my dear Gian at bugis. Planned this advanced surprise celebration for her birthday :) Cheated her to BK where the others and the cake were. And the present too! Continued shopping with Gian and Huiing after the rest left till about 10+. Omg la, my legs felt as though they were going to break anytime!









Birthday girl!





PUBLIC NUISANCE!





Seriously, I have no idea what is she holding on to.



HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVE :)



Horrible Sunday the next day. Woke up with a splitting headache, sorethroat, a pair of sore feets, accompanied by fatigue. But the stubborn me still made my way to MP lib. Man, it was terrible! Despite having my jacket, the cold was too much for me to take. I spent almost 3/4 of the time with my head on the table. At my weakest moment, there was this kind soul opposite me who showed me some concern. He asked whether i was okay and needed any help. But nah, i thought it was weird getting help from a total stranger. So i decided not to be stubborn anymore and made my way home. But the terrible-er thing was that I lied on my bed for 3hrs but couldn't sleep cos of my headache. I slowly felt my body heating up. Urgh, must be the fever. But my papa gave me panadol after dinner and i felt so much better. My headache was gone and the fever subsided. Haha. Nope, panadol didn't pay me to do this.



Missed Monday's trng cos I still wasn't feeling well. Headache and Fever was gone, but along came Cough and Flu! Decided not to let my illness drag so I went to the doctor on Wed. But didn't feel good enough to go for Friday's trng either.



I was super reluctant to wake up so early the next morning (it was a sat). But still, i managed to get out of bed. Reported to school for the newspaper collection thingy. And woah, I didn't expect the residents to be so helpful. Collected lots of stuff from them and they piled up to form heap after heap of even more stuff! Though it was tough job carrying the stuff here and there, at the end of the entire thing, there was this sense of satisfaction derived :) Met WeiChong at Bugis after that to get my bag. Yay, I got a backpack from Nike :) FINALLY! Double yays, and he got a shirt too :) I think it's nice. Heh, cos i chose it for him :D



Tuesday, CNY's eve eve. Decided to go airport to eat after school cos I had a sudden craving for Popeye's. Explored T3 and we found Popeye's there too :) Heh, it was a super satisfying meal. Anyway, the boardwalk at Changi Beach's really pretty! I didn't know such a nice place existed in Singapore, especially the Kelong Walk. Shall bring my camera along the next time :) Gonna take pretty snapshots.



Thank you for the present. Loves, five :)



CNY's eve celebration in school. Concert was not bad. Ahh, kinda miss CO again. Haha. Anyway, our class got 2nd for the class deco! Heh, I really think our board damn nice. All thanks to Kristin! :) We had trng from 12 to 2 at TSH. Quite sad eh, I think we're the only ones with trng today.





My fav part of the board :)



Alright, enjoy the rest of CNY!



Weakling.